Lost Connections

Sometimes connecting is hard.

Lost connection with license server for ArcGIS? Hello, rabbit hole, here we go again.

But before I could lean back into the blissful escape of my downward spiral, the humans called upon me with requests.

8:35am: Making a Fire Hydrant App for Co-Human

For about a week now I have been floating in the limbo between having awkwardly accepted a request by a coworker A to do work for (higher-up) coworker B that coworker A would later take credit for, and having to do work for my actual supervisor. Coworker A wants to “do the project with me,” but I am a bad team player and group work really salts my snail. I also realize that this is not really a group project, but I’m getting the feeling this is all an excuse for him to learn how these apps are made so he can more effectively take credit for my work. He was, after all, invited to attend a meeting about the app despite my clear agreement before both parties to make the damn thing. Or maybe I’m just a cynical curmudgeon and he just actually wants to learn. Who cares.


  1. Teamwork.
  2. Fire hydrant layer has too many features to load well (20,806). My GISITW comrade suggests splitting the hydrants into smaller groups. A neat idea.
  3. Not ENTIRELY clear on expectations/needs of client.
  4. This goddamn hydrant layer is agitating my trypophobia.
If you have trypophobia, do not Google trypophobia.

Annnd now I can no longer look at this page. Guess that means we’re done here… Oh wait, HEAT MAPS!



Who knew fire hydrants could be so hot.

Aaaahhhhhh that’s better.

Day 176: context

Goals for today:

  1. Figure out why excel is suddenly retarded.
  2. Geocode 2487502945879 meter addresses, many of which are just street names. They are split into 8 excel tabs, two excel workbooks, and are all to be geocoded separately.

At 830 I figured out what’s wrong with excel. In yesterday’s post, you notice the text is trying to eat itself:

That’s not a c next to the s, it’s part of the d.

Well, it turns out there’s a simple solution… And it’s not overwriting. If you right click and check the formatting, it appears to be related to the text direction. It was set to ‘context’ when it should be set to ‘left-to-right’.


Problem solved. Great way to mess with your pesky coworkers though.

But it wouldn’t be GIS if there weren’t a new problem to deal with every 5 minutes, sending you farther and farther backward in your attempt to find an answer.

Does anyone actually understand these errors?

But then I learned a new trick with Excel. Finding the cells guilty of emptiness is simple with the Go To Special feature under Find and Select. Choose blanks and you can fill those nihilistic values with your heart’s desires.

Give your cells meaning.

And now we wait…

Can I go home now



Day 175: Administrator Privileges

Today I was granted administrator privileges. Instead of continuing to develop my custom application, however, they asked me to use my newly gained powers to geocode 12087401928673 meter addresses. I told them I could already do that. So then I tried to edit the spreadsheet and broke excel.


what the hell is this crap? (Trying to type an s between the i and d…)

So basically a 5 minute data clean-up became a years-long holocaust for text. I am too exhausted by not finding a solution to go on.